oh man things are complicated. i never thought i could be feeling so many strong yet opposite emotions toward someone. i dont know where things are going. im finally seeing the truth, and realizing its not my fault. ive stopped crying. i think things might get better. it will take awhile though. he hurt me so bad. i just realized im typing very short sentences. going home this weekend should be therapuetic. i have a date with clare on friday! yummm fernandos!! i love that man! hmmmm. then saturday im going to my friends garage sale and the salval [salvation army, i dont really know why we call it the salval acyually, bc it prolly should be the sal arm.. oh well] but i think in the long run, things wont be as bad as i thought. goodnight, maybe i can finally get some sleep. its been a draining week.